On a beautiful Monday morning, I began a 3-day, nutritionist-advised detox with a specific amount of fruits, nuts, and vegetables.
The aim was to clear the toxins from my body without depriving me of energy and preparing me for my 2-month journey of getting my body back to health and losing weight through clean eating and exercise (and I can barely remember the last time I worked out).
The first day was the hardest in terms of the diet, which consisted only of fruits, nuts, and salad. I couldn’t even eat vegetables. And I had to eat my greens without olive oil. Not fun.
I had very low energy, and I was hungry but that may be partly because I couldn’t really eat much because eating salad with nothing on it made me feel like something between a cow and a rabbit chewing down leafy greens.
It was an emotional challenge as well. I was super irritable, especially in the morning, and my ego was on attack, trying to screw something up because I was doing so well with my body and it couldn’t handle the change (I quit coffee and cigarettes two weeks ago, and this was my third week of being “good”). Imagine your worst pms and multiply it by like 20 - that’s how I felt. On the bright side, I became aware of this rather quickly and did everything in my power not to act like a total nutcase. But in some cases, I had to give explanations like “Sorry, I’m going through withdrawal.”
The second day was more promising because I was going to eat cooked vegetables for dinner. Imagine getting excited for that! But that didn’t stop me from acting a little strange, like when my boyfriend went for the apple that I was going to have for breakfast and I defended it like a lion does her cub. Concentrating was very difficult, especially with the random cry-out fests. Doing paperwork, my most-hated to-do, was like actual torture. I had murderous feelings and wanted to walk around with a sign that said “Danger: Keep Away!” Weirdly though, I wasn’t feeling bad. Yes, I was on edge and a little crazy, but I was happy with what I was doing and I accepted the fact that my body and my ego had the right to go a little cuckoo when I take away everything they relished.
The third day, there was salmon on the menu for dinner. I was ecstatic. My morning was much less irritable and I began to feel different. I felt alert, clear, and without fog. I had heard someone say that a fog had lifted after they started eating clean and I had thought that they were just being too new agey and they were totally exaggerating. I had never felt foggy before but now that I felt exactly like a gray cloud that was blocking my view had just lifted from my head, I realized that I must have been so unclear, hazy, confused before. The other drastic change for me, which I think is closely related to the fog being lifted, was the ability to clearly feel and hear things from within. (And, yes, here I’m referring to the voices in my head.) I had been very much aware of the chatter in my mind for quite some time, but I don’t remember ever hearing my ego’s attacks so clearly. It’s like the voices now had a flag that said “I am the ego.” My body’s reactions also heightened when I got scared, intimated, or started ego-tripping. It was as if each emotion had a switch in my body and I could feel exactly where they were. I also started to realize that some of the things that I was so used to thinking, the ones that felt absolutely normal and natural, weren’t necessarily as such. They were, in fact, signaling me to beliefs and fears that were screaming to be cleared.
So, yes, I was detoxing my body. But actually I was doing much more than that.***Next week on the Detox Diaries – adding exercise to the equation, the importance of a good support system, and how to dance without getting drunk.